You take a dump and then you're home

Two clips to make the wait for the BIGGEST SNOWSTORM THIS YEAR a little shorter...

Louis CK on underappreciation



Patton Oswalt on KFC bowls

New music Friday

I can't stop singing the praises of elbo.ws, a music blog aggregator that a friend introduced me to a while back. The older I get, the less I seem to be surrounded by people whose primary interest is in discovering new bands and liking them before anyone else does (and then, of course, disliking them the second they become popular). While I don't miss the snobbery of "I liked them when they were playing shows to 6 people, 3 of whom were dating band members," I do miss the presence of new music in my life. One cannot live by Bruce Springsteen alone.

So, I highly recommend that anyone with a similar craving for music made in this century check it out. It's a great source for free MP3 downloads as well as the opinions of those who are paying a lot more attention than I am to new releases and up and coming bands.

Here's a link to a folder where I've shared some of the songs that elbo.ws has introduced me to.

DOWNLOAD MP3s HERE

Timesucks

Having spent a good portion of the day reading news coverage of the Blagojevich arrest and having, for now, exhausted that topic, I've moved on to my other daily timesucks. In the interest of these providing diversion for others, here are the websites I check daily (if not hourly):

Tastespotting - food blog aggregator that's actually just food porn (thanks to Lauren for the recommendation)

Gapers Block - things happening in/around Chicago, news and events

Apartment Therapy - decorating ideas for (relatively) small spaces, or for the loft that I don't actually own

Television Without Pity - I like to read snarky recaps of TV shows I've already watched. It's a little like reading the novelized version of the film, but for some reason I'm obsessed with it.

ESPN MLB homepage - for the latest news on trades, injuries, amazing catches, no hitters and steroid abuse

People - don't judge, but I love the daily paparazzi photos, and it's the only place I can read breaking news about how Jennifer Aniston feels about Angelina Jolie hooking up with Brad Pitt while he was still married to Jen ("not cool," in case you were curious).

Not it

A few weeks ago, in an effort to get out of a tedious chore (calling a university to ask for permission to film, which I doubted we would get) I quickly put my finger against my nose in what I thought was an internationally - or at least nationally - understood symbol for "not it." Everyone in the room looked at me like I was nuts, or was caught picking my nose and tried to turn it into something more benign.

This prompted a questioning of the entire office to see who understood that finger-to-nose is a silent "not it" - best used so as not to give away that "not it" is being declared, therefore leaving the last man standing confused as to how all parties had managed to get out of whatever odious task was being avoided.

Only one other person in the office knew what finger-to-nose meant, and he and I share neither age (he's about 10 years older than me) nor geographical area of raising (he grew up in the Midwest, I grew up in Northeast/Mid Atlantic). These were the two factors I figured would contribute, but they've been unscientifically ruled out.

The gesture was used on a recent episode of House which indicates that it's nationally understood, though my survey showed that it wasn't. Puzzling.

Wikipedia offers little help on the origins of the gesture aside from labeling it 'The Nose Game," though it does describe it as a subset of "dibs" (or "antidibs"), which is interesting if you've had a really boring day.

Can anyone offer any anecdotal evidence as to whether or not you know of this trick and/or use it?

How cold is it?

It's so cold that this is what I look like sitting at my desk.



If I had a hat I'd be a J. Crew ninja. I can't even imagine what January is going to feel like.

Too cold, too early

Since before Thanksgiving I've been suffering from what is definitely a minor cold but that has been a somewhat major bummer. In an effort to dredge up some positivity from what seems like an awfully bleak (colder than usual, darker than usual) end of fall, here's a list of things that have made me happy in the last few weeks - in no particular order:

• ordering pizza from Apart (the Apart pizza is especially delicious), employer of the nicest delivery person EVER
• blue eye make-up
• spending quality time with Christianna in DC
• Season 2 of The Wire, which I skipped for reasons that now escape me
• Lauren's seafood stew, even though it didn't turn out like she'd hoped
• the fact that my neighbor did something incredibly neighborly by covering the A/C unit (trashily left, by me, on our shared deck) with plastic so that it wouldn't get snow in it
• this past Sunday, one of the busiest travel days of the year, I touched down at Midway,virtually on time at 5:50pm and managed to walk in my door at 7:00pm.
• the flowers Sarah brought me that sit by my bed
• seeing Slumdog Millionaire and being completely immersed in a fairytale for a few hours
• getting so many "Happy Thanksgiving" texts that I wasn't expecting but made me feel very loved
• spending most of a perfectly good day in bed

Self-soothing behavior

This video makes me so ridiculously happy that I could space out to it all day long. I have no idea why, but I'm hoping that repeated watchings will make me a better dancer. After a very fun Saturday night at Big Chicks, all I want to do is dance.

Single Ladies/Single Man

A middle school date for adults

This past Saturday Sarah and I decided to satisfy our respective cravings for heavy, Americanized Chinese food (Sarah) and rollerskating (me).

We started the evening with a multi-course meal at Orange Garden, at the corner of Irving Park and Lincoln. I've always been curious about this place, and intensely attracted to it's original 1920s facade and promise of an interior that reminded me of the Chinese restaurants of my youth - lantern style light fixtures with plastic "jade" beads, Chinese zodiac placemats that predict your temprament and your compatibility with your mate based on the year you were born (I'm year of the rabbit, for what it's worthy) and duck sauce and hot mustard in squeezy bottles on your table. The food did not disappoint in its inate predictability. It was heavy, fatty, bland and exactly what we were in the mood for. Our leftovers even made the car smell like carryout. Perfect.


We then headed out to Palatine to the Orbit Skate Center which, for $7.50 plus the cost of skate rental, offered an evening of wholesome entertainment with a soundtrack that had changed very little since the height of my rollerskating obsession, 1985. Sarah is a natural, I am not. It took a while for me to get my skate legs back (and to stop screaming every time I even slightly lost my balance) but once I did, it was excellent. Really, there's nothing like skating in circles to "Rappers Delight" while trying not to careen into glow-stick carrying 11 year olds who chasing each other around the rink. Alas, there was not limbo contest or hokey pokey, but there was couple's skate and the smell of pizza that had been reheating for 6 hours lingering in the air. Next time, we're going to check out the 11:30pm-3am "Adult Skate" which is for 18 and over and promises old school hip hop and R&B.

Significant change, but work still to be done

Attending the Obama Election Night rally in Grant Park on Tuesday night, I was most struck by the reactions of those around me. People were elated, relieved and just clearly moved by how monumental it felt that America had elected an African American man as our next president.

It made me think about those who gave their energy, time and often their lives for the cause of equal rights for all in this country - regardless of race or gender.

Several speakers that night invoked the memory of the Selma to Montgomery Voters Rights March, which happened less that 50 years ago. Realizing how far we have come as a society brings me hope for changes that are possible within my lifetime, including a nationwide effort to fight for equal rights for all those who wish to marry.

While I'm excited and optimistic for our new administration - while painfully aware of how much the high expectations Obama faces will add pressure to an already difficult job - I'm also tremendously disappointed that three states passed gay marriage bans and that Arkansas made it impossible for gay couples to adopt. I had optimistically assumed that the California marriage ban wouldn't pass, and was caught off guard when it did.

I feel galvanized to work on this issue - in Illinois or elsewhere - and am going to start investigating organizations I can support with time and money.

Magical Bean

Isn't it exciting to introduce someone to the Bean (er, Cloud Gate) in Millenium Park? Here are James and me, discovering and rediscovering it, on an unexpectedly warm and beautiful Friday in Chicago.

Rage against the dying of the light

This sign in an Uptown apartment window makes me vaguely grateful to have Comcast. Mostly, though, I identify with the powerless feeling created by evil communications companies. When the only thing you can do is hang a homemade sign, you know you cannot do much.

There's a new sheriff in Uptown

This morning I headed over to Truman College for early voting and found myself in a surprisingly long line. My appreciation for my fellow citizens' desire to have their voices heard somewhat mellowed my irritation for being in a long line that didn't appear to be moving.

Unfortunately, because I was unwilling to give up my spot I wasn't able to take a picture of the most fantastic Halloween costume EVER.

This guy, wearing a homemade sheriff's hat (paper star on the front) and an old west style handlebar mustache, had created cardboard horses - complete with manes, reigns, saddles and tails - for either side of his wheelchair. On the back was a cardboard cell that had "Uptown Jail" written at the top and a sad looking felon peering through the markered bars.

It was the perfect combination of costume and outsider art, perhaps even better than the guy with the undertaker's suit, umbrella and gloves who used to sell Spare Change outside of Christina's ice cream shop in Inman Square.

Election Night

I'm ridiculously and unexpectedly excited to go the Obama event (known here as Obamapalooza) on Tuesday night in Grant Park. Optimistically, I feel like it could be one of those seminal moments when you become part of history. Also, work is springing for a suite at a hotel nearby so that there's a place to warm up, snack, watch CNN, and poop.

Be Like Others

If you get the chance, definitely check out a new documentary, Be Like Others, that's currently on the festival circuit and will hopefully/most likely be shown on PBS.

The film chronicles the stories of several male to female transsexuals in the Islamic Republic of Iran, a country that permits sex change operations but punishes homosexuality with death. As a Muslim cleric explains it, being born into the wrong body and having an operation to fix this predicament is not explicitly prohibited in the Koran, therefore it's allowed. Homosexuality, on the other hand, is condemned and is therefore anti-religious and unlawful.

While some of the transsexuals who appear in the film are probably correctly "diagnosed," it's clear - though presented subtly - that many who undergo this emotionally and physically painful operation are actually gay men who feel that their existence is impossible without the surgery.

With lingering shots on disconsolate and resigned faces of the men, their families and partners who are sucked into this drama, the film does a beautiful job of showing the dilemmas rather than just telling us about them.

PBS Poll and Sarah Palin

In the last 48 hours I've received about 10 different requests - to my work and personal email accounts - to challenge the Right (capitalization email's, not mine) by voting in a PBS poll asking if Sarah Palin is qualified to be Vice President. It's easy enough to click "No" (and to do so over and over again since it will let you do that) but I can't figure out why it matters. Why am I being asked to participate in this completely passive way in an online poll? Will getting more "No" than "Yes" votes somehow beat the Right?

Most importantly, does anyone besides Left-leaning liberals pay attention to PBS polls?

This seems about as significant as voting for America's Favorite Dancer during the two hours after an episode of So You Think You Can Dance that phone lines are open.

I think instead of sitting around endlessly clicking "No," I'll make a donation to the Obama campaign.

Useful shorthand

There are certain phrases that have entered my lexicon that are useful shorthands for describing particular phenomena. In an effort to get everyone to understand what I'm talking about more of the time, I've listed a few below:

• Defending the Kennedys - My friend Tim's father - a good Midwestern conservative lawyer - would bait his Boston-dwelling son by mocking the Kennedy clan, which would make Tim feel suddenly protective and he'd find himself defending the Kennedys when he didn't at all care about them or their reputation. So, to "defend the Kennedys" is to find yourself in a position of arguing a point about which you don't actually give a shit.

• And that's why I hate tacos... - This phrase was coined in homage to some guy named Jeff who used to give extremely circuitous answers to the most basic of questions. So, in response to "Do you like tacos?" you'd hear about his childhood experiences with ground meat, his feelings on US/Mexican trade policy, and the history of sour cream production and then, 20 minutes later, he'd wrap up with "... and that's why I hate tacos." So, a long answer to a short question is an example of "and that's why I hate tacos."

• Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference? - The punchline of a joke about a Jew* who sees a Chinese guy sitting on a park bench and jabs him in the eye (or something) and says, "that's for Pearl Harbor!" The guy says, "I'm Chinese, not Japanese." To this the Jew responds "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" So the Chinese guy jabs the Jew in the eye and says "that's for the Titanic!" The Jew says "what do I have to do with the Titantic?" and the Chinese guy says, "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

It's a pretty stupid, vaguely offensive joke, but the punchline is excellent shorthand for anyone comparing two completely unlike things and making them seem equivalent.

*Being Jewish, I can use the word "Jew" as a label and have it be completely neutral. Everyone else has to use the qualifier "man" as in "Jewish man." It's one of the rights that comes with being chosen. Unfortunately, those rights don't extend to being good at delivering jokes. Iceberg/Goldberg is as good as I get.

These boots were made for being on my feet.

Allow me to introduce you to the Heath Outside Zip boots by Frye. They're my dream boot. They cost more than my monthly condo fees (which include heat!) and therefore will not be mine anytime soon.

Crabbypants

This song is a good antidote to the dreary crabbiness of the day. Everyone seems to be sick or pissed off or both. I am merely crabby, but it's enough.

There were no dance lessons last night, so we ended up having a few drinks at Buck's on Halsted. Apparently this is the bar I've been looking for in Chicago, where you can sit outside, drink and watch sports on covered TVs. They played decent music and aside from having to walk in front of the (in use) dart board to get to the bathroom, it was kind of perfect.

So you think you can two step...

Inspired by the two-stepping and line dancing I saw at the Gay Rodeo a few weekends ago, tonight I'm going to Charlie's in Boystown to try out their free dance lessons from 7-9. I've been warned that they hate women at Charlie's (I know - hate is a strong word, but that's the one that was used) so I'm interested to see for myself.

My cowboy boots are in the car and I'm all geared up to be awkward and a few steps behind everyone else. And yes, I'll be leading.

Here's what I've been listening to all day. It has nothing to do with two-stepping.